From what we have noticed, communication is key to making a registry process work. Being open to each others ideas and knowing that you won't agree on everything before you go in will help a lot.
The biggest thing that I (Matt) have heard that could be an issue is actually something we learned together through reading Love and Respect. Usually (not always) when a woman says "Yes, that is fine", or "I don't care" they are saying it out of courtesy. So the woman asking will repeat the question or say "Are you sure?" to make sure that the person is actually giving their opinion instead of doing it out of courtesy. The difference is... with guys, we mean it the first time. So asking again and again if he really does like wooden spoons over metal ones when he said he does not care the first time you asked will just annoy him. He really did mean that he did not care.
On the flip side, when a guy asks for your opinion, he wants suggestions and input, not just an "I like it" or "Yeah, that is ok." He is looking for affirmation through analysis. Verbally processing through your thoughts on whether you really do or do not like it will help him make a decision.
Before you go in to register, another thing to think about is compromise. There may be one or two items (and maybe big items) that one of you really likes and just want it on the registry (it's not that you NEED it, but you WANT it), but the other is not really thinking it's important. It's okay to register for it!! We would advise that you allow each of you one to three items that are "freebies" in this way. These items are items that you might be negotiating, and one of you can pull out the "freebie" card, or you can just pick three items you know you want and scan them.
So, let's recap for all of you who skim -
- When a guy says "I don't care." He means it, the first time.
- When a girl says "I don't care." She is saying it out of courtesy, ask her again.
- Allow freebies, this will release tension on trying to agree on everything and allow your mind to be a little selfish.
Registry prep - guestlist
It is good to know how many you are inviting to your wedding to better know how many items to register for! There are two rules of thumb we discovered for this -
First - You should have roughly 20% more gifts on your registry than guests. Why? Because no one wants to be the last one to purchase anything off of your registry and find out that they have to either purchase the rubber spatula or... nothing at all. Give your guests choices!
Second - Know your audience. If the majority of your guests are college age or so then maybe it is wiser to have gifts that could easily fit their budget. Or, if a lot of your guests are in an older generation you can register for more traditional items; games and technology may not go over as well with a lot of wiser guests.
Registry prep - cost of items
When we researched registering, we found out that couples "should" have 1/3 of the items they register for be under $50, 1/3 of the items be between the prices of $50 and $150, and 1/3 of the items be over $150. This is because some guests will want to spend more money than others. However, when we registered, most of the items were under $50 and we have hardly any over $150... so, we kinda aren't following that rule... yeah.
Location, location, location
It is good to register at more than one location. Wedding sites suggest you register at least 3 locations, to give guests more options. Also, when choosing the locations, think about these things:
- be sure at least one of your locations allows for out of town guests to purchase items online or is a national chain (with stores located in most cities)
- be sure the stores you choose will accommodate all your needs (e.g. we cannot register for tools at Bed, Bath, and Beyond)
- be sure the stores will have both products that will allow for higher end purchases ($150 and up) as well as lower end purchases (under $50)
- choose stores that YOU will like. What we did was choose one store we both wanted things in, then one store for her and one for him.
Advertisement of Registry
Last time we mentioned one of the faux pas for your registry - do not put that information on your invitations. We thought we might suggest how to properly advertise your registry so that it is not shoved in your guests' faces but is brought to their attention politely.
Since you cannot print it on your invitations... put it everywhere else! (to an extent)
- list them website
- mention it in your blog
- tell your bridal party so they can pass that information on when people ask
- wait until people ask, but freely give all information once they do and let them know that it is alright to tell others
There are some websites that even suggest posting it on your wedding website is wrong to do and that you should assume your guests know how to find registries on the major registry store's websites...
Anywho, enjoy our registry photos below, and until next time when we blog about the dreaded... the awful... the fantastic.... um... the...
ah heck, we will be talking about Looks on your Wedding Day - Photography, Make-up and Hair.
Target, taking the time to register for the essentials.
We are at her store, Bed, Bath, and Beyond, reacting appropriately.
Now at Sears, helping ourselves to some goodies for Matt.